(noun) the leftovers resulting from not wearing your helmet while riding a large, over glorified, over priced, gas guzzling, pompous, American motorcycle thus allowing others to see that which you did not use and therefore lost for good.
Todd (rolling by slowly gawking as any good American should): Whoa baby! Nice harleydavidsplat!
Leah (not looking):Todd you are really sick!
Todd:Sorry baby. Let's go eat.
Danielle: How could you be hungry after that?
Todd: I dunno. I just have a sudden urge for cottage cheese and cauliflower all smothered in chicken wing sauce.
Leah:Todd! You're gonna rot in hell!
Todd:Maybe, but I won't be carrying my noodle around in a bucket.
(noun) a text message sent to someone in order to obtain paper when you discover the roll is empty after dropping a giant bowlscraper in the tank.
Todd: Hey Leah, didn't you get my scottext?
Leah: Huh? What are you talking about?
Todd: You know the one that said "need TP, urgent!".
Leah: Oh that text! Sure, I ran right out and got you the New York Times and The News of the World. Thought TP meant 'The Paper'.
Todd: That's not what I meant! Nobody thinks that!
Leah: Sorry honey.
Todd (quietly to himself): Not as sorry as I'll be when you find out I used your Hello Kitty washcloth instead.
#texting#texting shit#tp#asswhipe#toilet paper chicken