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4 definitions by atlasfugged

 
1.
The world's first viral Sheisse video.

Often shown to an unsuspecting viewer(s) in order to gleefully observe his or her horrified reaction.

(Spoiler Alert! The following reveals elements of the video's "plot")

Sadistic Asshole: "Dude... check out this video of these two hot chicks 'making out'. He! He!".

Said Asshole's victim plays the video "Two Girls One Cup": Idyllic music plays.... Two attractive women ... Standard Lesbian foreplay ... then, at about 0:30 into the video....

Traumatized Victim (horrified and at the brink of nausea): "Are they ... Oh my God, No ... I can't believe ... Are they really, IS SHE EATING THE OTHER CHICK'S POO! AND, OH NO, SQUIRTING IT INTO THE OTHER CHICK'S MOUTH! PLEASE, I CAN'T WATCH ANYMORE!"

Sadistic Asshole: "Oh it gets better. So much better, so much tastier."

... the two women, apparently fed-up (hah! pun intended) with eating each other poop, wash their fecal-feast down with a generous helping of each other's vomit; could there by a more fitting denouement?...

Traumatized Victim (shaking): "Where am I? Its sooo cold in here... My life will never be the same... My whole worldview has been decimated ... Someone, please hold me. I am so scared ..."

Sadistic Asshole: "Ha Ha! Isn't technology wonderful!"
de atlasfugged 06 Decembrie 2007
 
2.
(variants: When is tuan arriving? When is tuan coming?

Generally, used as a rhetorical question in colloquial parlance. However, some philosophers have argued that because one can never be certain of the moment or range of time during which tuan will arrive, the question becomes unanswerable. In this sense, the expression is often considered a paradox since, as some philosophers claim, all questions have at least one answer.)

1: a rhetorical question used to convey puzzlement or confusion.

2: a rhetorical question used to express one's belief that the question being asked or the subject matter being contemplated is hopelessly unanswerable.

3: ("Randian" usage) a rhetorical question - used similarly to the query "Who is John Galt?" found throughout "Atlas Shrugged" - meant to be interpreted as meaning: why ask questions that have no answers or where the answers are not readily obtainable?
1: Engineer 1: "Why won't the doohicky fit into the whatchamacallit?" Engineer 2: "When is tuan getting here?"

2: Poli-Sci Major: "Why did we invade Iraq anyway?" Hippie Roommate: "When is tuan getting here?"

3: "When is tuan getting here?" The light was ebbing, and Eddie Willers could not distinguish the bum's face. The bum had said it simply, without expression. But from the sunset far at the end of the street, yellow glints caught his eyes, and the eyes looked straight at Eddie Willers, mocking and still - as if the question had been addressed to the causeless uneasiness within him. -- Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
de atlasfugged 04 Iulie 2007
 
3.
(generally used as a rhetorical phrase ;

variants: when tuan arrives, when tuan comes ; related: until tuan gets here, until tuan arrives, until tuan comes, if tuan gets here, if tuan arrives, if tuan comes)

1: a rhetorical phrase used to refer to a time that will, for all practical purposes, never come - esp. in relation to an event or action

2: a rhetorical phrase meant to convey the impossibility of an event or action.

3: a rhetorical phrase used to indicate that an event or action will occur a very long time from now

4: a rhetorical phrase used to indicate that an event or action is unlikely to occur
1. According to quantum mechanics, it is impossible to know or determine the absolute position of an object. Position in quantum mechanics is not deterministic, but rather probabilistic. Thus, we can consider the position of an object at a particular time as a probability distribution wherein each conceivable position in space is assigned the likelihood of the object being there. Though quantum mechanics is typically confined to the subatomic realm, its scope can be generalized to the macroscopic world in which we live. Indeed, where we are at a particular time is not some absolute, monolithic thing, but a hazy smudge in space. With some infinitesimal probability you are (or could be) simultaneously in the next room, in the attic, even in the bed of the pretty woman next door. But, alas, in this big, clumsy macroscopic world we live in these probabilities are inconceivably small. So, unless you're really, really, really lucky, you will have to wait until, I don't know, when tuan gets here to magically find yourself snug in the bed of the girl next door.

2. I will have sex with Victoria Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio when tuan gets here.

3. This proton will decay when tuan gets here.

4. The Middle East will cease to be a burden to Western industrialized nations when tuan gets here.
de atlasfugged 04 Iulie 2007
 
4.
(idiom - used as an intransitive verb)
1 (a): to agree enthusiastically to convene at a particular time and place, despite secretly harboring some inexplicable apprehension, then fail to appear at all and to provide any explanation whatsoever (b): to agree enthusiastically to convene at a particular time and place, despite secretly harboring some inexplicable apprehension, then, long after the agreed-upon time has passed, notify the waiting party(s) of one's inability to attend - esp. when such notification could have been made much earlier (c): to agree enthusiastically to convene at a particular time and place, despite secretly harboring some inexplicable apprehension, then, long after the agreed-upon time has passed, notify the waiting party(s) of one's imminent arrival, then, after a long duration thenceforth, either fail to arrive at all or again notify the waiting party(s) of one's imminent arrival: generally, in the latter case, the act is repeated until either one finally notifies the waiting party(s) of his/her inability to arrive or until the waiting party(s) become exasperated

2: to devise detailed plans for a meeting of people - esp. a social gathering, vigorously stress the importance of the meeting or otherwise stimulate interest in the meeting, then shortly before its scheduled time, abruptly cancel the meeting without providing a compelling reason.
1(a): Don Q.: "Dude, where the fuck is Juan?! We've been waiting for two hours for his ass to show up. He hasn't even called." Sancho P.: "Shit! I think the little fucker's pulling a tuan!"

1(b): Sigmund: "Dude, that was Antoine. He pulled a tuan and is not coming." Sigfried: "Fuck! Why didn't he call earlier?! I could've been at home exfoliating my nutsack instead of waiting for him to call and tell us he's not coming!"

1(c): Pedro: "That was the third time Juan called to say he'll be here. It's been like two hours. He is totally pulling a tuan." Enrique: "Next time he calls tell him to fuck himself."

2: (business meeting) Phil: "Antoine just pulled a tuan. Today's big strategy meeting is cancelled indefinitely." Devon: "What?! He was hyping it up yesterday afternoon. I spent two days working on those earnings projections."

2: (social gathering) Phil: "You know that party in the Hamptons Antoine was planning with the yacht, the private chefs, the runway models, and the endless fountains of choice liquors?" Devon: "Yeah, I can't wait! It's this afternoon!" Phil: "Well, he fucking pulled a tuan. I got his text five minutes ago saying its cancelled. No reason why."
de atlasfugged 03 Iulie 2007