A cult founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. There core beliefs are as follows:
This area of the galaxy was once ruled by an alien warlord named Xenu. 65 million years ago his empire was overpopulated horribly, so to combat the overpopulation he had trillions of citizens called in for psychiatric evalutations and tax audits, where they were given paralytic drugs, loaded onto space planes, and flown to Planet Teegeeack. Once on this planet, their bodies were stacked in huge piles around volcanoes, while atom bombs were dropped into these volcanos, instantly killing trillions of galactic citizens.
To keep these people from reincarnating in the rest of the galaxy, Xenu set up a special trap. Powerful force-fields kept their souls (called "Thetans" in Scientology jargon) from escaping, and these thetans were then shown special holographic movies about the various lies they are supposed to believe, with characters like Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha. Over time, these thetans began to believe Xenu's lies about false gods, and began to reincarnate on Teegeeack (but the thetans called this world "Earth"). When intelligent life appeared on Teegeeack, thousands or millions of "Thetans" cling to every native soul (er, "thetan") and fill it's head with nonsensical thoughs and irrational beliefs.
The key idea of Scientology is to avoid tax officials and psychiatrists at all costs, while paying the church a large amount of money for special "counseling" (called "auditing" in their jargon) to help you reach a special enlightened state called "Clear" where you telepathically communicate with these "thetans" clinging to you and force them out of your body, and rid yourself of evil Xenu's influence.
(By the way, most Scientologists don't know this, like the Mystery Cults of the Greco-Roman world, Scientology doles it's doctrine out in tiny doses to it's new recruits, and tells the public next to nothing about what it believes. You don't hear that whole story until you reach a special rank in their group called "OT3" for "Operating Thetan 3". Their doctrine holds that if this got out, the Thetans in people would revolt at hearing the truth and people would get sick and die possibly just by hearing this story, which of course leads people who aren't Scientologists who hear this story to tell it to others and watch them not die or get ill from it.)
The Church of Scientology takes advantage of the gullibility of the American people to make a tidy profit.
Can be found at the youth, high school, college, and professional levels. An individual who participates in sports. Characterized by dedication, focus, intelligence, and work ethic. Athletes usually are overshadowed in high school by Jocks; they are too busy to do much grandstanding. Most pro players are athletes rather than jocks.
The athlete is intelligent, hard-working, and a decent human being. He has fallback plans for the future in case he can't play pro. The jock
is arrogant, stupid, lazy, and an asshole. He has no plans for the future beyond high school whatsoever.
Jocks are drinking and fucking cheerleaders while athletes are training, studying, or participating in worthwhile extracurriculars.
Ryan Leaf was a jock. Steve Young was an athlete. Both were standouts through college, but look at the difference in their NFL careers.
Professional tennis player.
Born 4/19/1987, Nyagan, USSR (now Russian Federation)
Hometown: Bradenton, FL
College: none Turned pro: 2001
A rising star in tennis, she won Wimbledon in 2004 in only her third season of professional competition. Already one of the elite in her sport, she's only going to get better. Known for grunting loudly during matches.
She is frequently compared to Anna Kournikova, another gorgeous Russian whose career ended just before Maria won Wimbledon. However, Maria has already won at a higher level than Anna ever did. In fact, Kournikova struggled to win at all, forcing her retirement at age 23.
Other Russian players have been critical of Maria's stateside residence, saying she's not really Russian.
Sharapova will be the best ever if she plays long enough.
Anna Kournikova sucks at tennis. She should stick to modeling. Maria Sharapova can do both.
has lived in the United States since 1977 but there's no question he's Danish.
A prototype artillery piece used by the Germans in World War I to bombard Paris. Fired the largest shell in the world at the time, and more importantly had the longest range.
Bombs fell on Gay Paree
Born 8/19/1960, Copenhagen, Denmark
Hometown: Indianapolis, IN
College: Michigan State Turned pro: 1982
The best kicker of all time. Andersen came the the U.S. in 1977 as a foreign exchange student and planned to stay ten months. He played football at Ben Davis HS in Indianapolis because they didn't have a soccer team. He has played more pro games than George Blanda and is closing in on Gary Anderson's scoring record.
Morten Andersen is clutch. Plus, he's Danish.
Thompson submachine gun. Saw extensive use during gang warfare in the 1920s and 1930s, World War II, and Korea.
You know you're a gangster when you wear a fedora and carry a Tommygun.
National Basketball Association. The major league of professional basketball in North America. 80% African-American. The NBA has been losing popularity ever since Michael Jordan's second retirement. Reasons for this include lack of parity, a retired player (Jordan) still being the face of the league, and stupid fans who think defense is boring to watch.
The NBA needs to replace Michael Jordan with an active player as their frontman, pronto. Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, LeBron James, and Yao Ming combined do not have the drawing power of Jordan.