An overpriced restaurant with polyester tablecloths.
Actual "fine dining" restaurants
rarely, if ever, call attention to themselves as such, just as a gentleman does not, by definition, call himself a gentleman.
text on the menu (see examples
below), capitals on all restaurant-related terms, inflated prices, "house brands" of bottled
water and similar, faux-luxe decor, cheap
silverware, poor-quality ingredients
in fussy recipe, abuse of any of the following: "oven-roasted" (never simply roasted), "sun-dried" (never simply dried), "French," "infused," &c, pretensions to internationalism despite solid Americanisms, like calling blue
cheese or fromage bleu "bleu cheese."
Hallmarks of the service include having too many things
done with you without your asking
for them, such as removing the lid from ketchup bottles. They are normally pretentious, fussy, and ignorant about the food.
On the menu where "spaghetti" should be:
A delightlful Medley
of oven-roasted vegetables in a basil-infused
tomato reduction Sauce, topping
Wheat pasta cooked to Perfection. Offered with
Premium parmesan, hand-grated by your
In the advertising:
Oilivierio's offers a Fine Dining Establishment for your
pleasure. Located in (some chain
hotel). Chef Antonio Italianobut Bornintorontonio
takes pride in the variety of Gourmet
dishes he has created. Come and enjoy a meal at Olivierio's today with
the $2-off coupon in your
ValPak coupon circular to discover the soul of Italy -- right here in Bells Corners!